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10 Thoughts of a Cyclist at Christmas

It's the end of November and we've already heard about 10,000 renditions of Mariah Carey and what she wants for Christmas whilst we trawl over the thousands of discounted items on Wiggle in the hope we'll find something exciting we can buy for ourselves before Christmas. 

Christmas tends to be very different for cyclists across the world now as they try to sneak in as many miles as possible before eating themselves into a food coma, chasing the reward of completing the Festive 500 challenge that Rapha have presented each Christmas. 

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Getting into the Festive period can be an interesting time as a cyclist and it got me thinking of some of the things cyclists think over the festive season....

"What do you mean there are ANOTHER Top 100 Climbs? Seriously, I'd best stop eating after I've finished these 20 pigs in blankets or I'll never get up the hills in summer".

"I wonder if leaving all those adverts around the house for a Venge Vias worked this year? I mean, that's a totally reasonable expectation for Christmas, isn't it?"

"Just how early will I have to get out of the house on Christmas Day to clock up 100km so I can smash my Festive 500 challenge early? 3am? Scrap that."

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"Seriously, just one more box of Celebrations won't hurt my race weight will it? I could always buy a lighter frame to compensate..."

"I wonder if I don't buy any presents and save all my money for the Boxing Day sale if anyone will notice? Probably not...."

"Oh wow, how exciting! Five copies of Chris Froome's autobiography; just what I've always wanted!"

"Darling, you've absolutely nailed it this year. How did you guess all I wanted for Christmas was a mountain of merino socks?"

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"It totally doesn't look I've been on the cocaine if I take some stollen bites on my ride does it? The sugar totally helps me get out and ride off those excess calories."

"What do you mean the jersey I spent £200 on for my partner is now half price?"

"I'm really hoping for a white Christmas this year, it's just so beautiful. Wait, what's that? I'm 500 miles behind my goal for the year? I hope it's like an Aussie Christmas or i'll be fuming"

Don't forget though, that despite all my joking about, Christmas is a time to celebrate and spend time with family as much as anything else so don't forget to hang up the bike for a few days if you can and be grateful for that mountain of socks or the Chris Froome autobiography because someone will have bought those with love.